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Who may receive LSS-MT birthparent
counseling services?
Anyone who is currently pregnant or
parenting a small child and needs decision making counseling to help plan for
that child's future. Both birthmothers and birthfathers are encouraged to
participate, however many birthmothers attend counseling alone or with another
support person. An appointment can be made by calling the closest LSS-MT office
or 1-800-726-3083 (Great Falls). All inquiries and services are confidential.
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Where are the services available?
LSS-MT has offices in Great Falls,
Billings, Bozeman, Missoula and Kalispell. We cover the entire state for
services and can meet clients at other locations as needed.
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When is counseling needed?
Unplanned pregnancy is often an
emotionally stressful and confusing time. Professional counseling services can
help sort out feelings and options in a safe and non-judgmental environment.
For someone who is currently parenting with difficulty, this can be a time to
step back and re-evaluate. Montana law requires a woman who is making an
adoption plan to receive counseling from a licensed adoption agency prior to
relinquishment. If the plan is to parent, resources and plans can be explored
before the child arrives. LSS-MT counselors are trained specifically for this
and have experience with both parenting and adoption issues.
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What does counseling cost the
birthparent?
Birthparents are not charged for
decision-making counseling. These costs are covered by the adoption program
if the child is placed for adoption, and by gifts and contributions if
adoption is not planned. In Yellowstone and Cascade Counties, LSS-MT is a
United Way Service Partner and receives funding specifically for the
birthparent counseling program. If a birthparent comes to LSS-MT for contract
counseling to place with a specific non-LSS-MT couple, the fees are the
responsibility of the adoptive couple.
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How can a birthfamily be involved in
the child's future?
The birthparents (and their families if
they wish) can begin by participating in counseling to make a careful plan for
the child's future. If adoption is planned, most birthparents choose some
form of open or cooperative adoption, which allows them, and often their
families, to have an ongoing relationship with the child. After counseling
has been initiated and a decision for adoption has been made, the birthparents
will choose a family from our waiting couples. Many begin their relationship
with a meeting before birth and continue throughout the child's life.
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What if I already know a family who
wants to adopt my baby?
This is called a direct parental
placement, if the family is not currently active with a licensed adoption
agency. In these adoptions, the arrangements are made by the birthparents,
the adoptive parents and the attorney involved. As noted above, the
birthparent must participate in a minimum number of counseling hours, which
they contract for with a licensed adoption agency like LSS-MT. The family must
have completed a homestudy (also called a pre-placement evaluation), and have
been approved for adoption. This service can also be contracted for with LSS-MT.
The only exception to the homestudy requirement is when the adoptive parent is
a family member who is a first degree relative to the birthparent (parent,
sibling or child).
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Why does the law have to be involved in
the adoption?
The State of Montana has a duty to protect
children within its borders. Adoption is a serious and life-changing act
which can have far reaching effects on all parties involved. To decrease the
chance of anyone being hurt or taken advantage of, the law attempts to provide
some framework to guide people. The ultimate goal is to make sure the
children are provided with a safe, loving and permanent family environment.
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When do I need to make the decision for
adoption?
The adoption decision is an ongoing
process requiring support, education and counseling. Although birthparents
may make the decision before their child is born, no legal papers can be
signed until 72 hours after birth.
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What happens after the child is
adopted?
LSS-MT encourages birthparents to continue
counseling as long as they feel it is helpful. Even though adoption is a
loving and caring choice, it involves loss and often sadness. The counseling
can support the birthparent through the grief process. LSS-MT remains available
to both birth and adoptive families throughout the child's life.
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How will I know my child is okay?
Families who adopt through LSS-MT go through
an intensive screening and educational process. Most adoptions also involve
ongoing communication and often there are visits between the adoptive and
birth families. LSS-MT supervises all placements for the first six months and
provides a report to the court at the end of this time. If the birthparents
choose not to be in contact with the adoptive family, they can still receive
any available update information through LSS-MT.
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What will my child think of me?
Adoptive education teaches adoptive
parents that open discussions about adoption should happen throughout the
child's life. A child who is raised to know that adoption is a loving choice
will have been given a positive view of the birthparents' decision. Every
child will process the information differently, depending on his own
personality. In open adoption, the birthparents will often be available to
speak to the child themselves and to answer questions which arise. This has
proven to be beneficial to all parties and exemplifies the love that led to
the decision for adoption.
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What is the right decision for me?
Only you can decide. To do that, you need
to look honestly at your current lifestyle, financial situation, resources,
future plans and relationships with others. You need to ask yourself, "Am
I really ready and able to be a good parent at this time? Do I want to change
my life in order to be a parent now? What choice will ensure the best future
for me and for my child?" Your answers will depend on many factors and it
will take courage and maturity to live out your decision. LSS-MT has been
helping birthparents since 1954 and we are here today for you. Please
give us a call or email one of our professional
staff.
